Recruiters in the late 90s

In the summer of 2000 I became fed up enough with clueless recruiters calling me I decided to create a fake résumé to test how bad the industry had become. The résumé was not just slightly fake, it was over-the-top and obvious to anyone in the industry. I put the résumé up on Monster.com with my real name and phone number and a completely altered work history.

I had calls within 20 minutes, including recruiters claiming to work for Kleiner Perkins Caufield and Byers (KPCB) and Benchmark encouraging me to come work at companies such as BroadBand Office or Catapulse. I had so many calls I had to shut off my phone to get back to work.

Résumé highlights

15 years of Java experience. I told one recruiter I was not interested in working with them but she wanted someone with 15 years of Java experience so bad I suggested she give James Gosling of Sun a call and she probably did.
Created industry-leading teleportation technology for Amazon.com in 1989. I actually got a call from an early Amazon employee about this one, so it was worth it. (Amazon was founded in 1994)
Worked as Pixelon’s Chief Technical Officer (CTO) developing industry-leading vaporware and head party planner of their $16 million launch party. Pixelon was in the news for falsifying everything including their own names.

Do I remember the bubble of the late 90s? Yes, why yes I do. I hope I never again get a call from a recruiter interested in vaporware experts.