Recruiters in the late 90s

In the summer of 2000 I became fed up enough with clueless recruiters calling me I decided to create a fake résumé to test how bad the industry had become. The résumé was not just slightly fake, it was over-the-top and obvious to anyone in the industry. I put the résumé up on with my real name and phone number and a completely altered work history.

I had calls within 20 minutes, including recruiters claiming to work for KPCB and Benchmark encouraging me to come work at companies such as BroadBand Office or Catapulse. I had so many calls I had to shut off my phone to get back to work.

Résumé highlights

  1. 15 years of Java experience. I told one recruiter I was not interested in working with them but she wanted someone with 15 years of Java experience so bad I suggested she give James Gosling of Sun a call and she probably did.
  2. Created industry-leading teleportation technology for in 1989. I actually got a call from an early Amazon employee about this one, so it was worth it. (Amazon was founded in 1994)
  3. Worked as Pixelon’s CTO developing industry-leading vaporware and head party planner of their $16 million launch party. Pixelon was in the news for falsifying everything including their own names.

Do I remember the bubble of the late 90s? Yes, why yes I do. I hope I never again get a call from a recruiter interested in vaporware experts.